At least half of all the clients who come to me for portrait sessions introduce themselves by saying something like “I always hate myself in photos”, or “I’m sorry, but I’m just not photogenic”, or “I’ve never seen a portrait of myself that I like”.

This includes men and women that most people would find good-looking, or even gorgeous. Gently, I try to explore their feelings. If a client is worried about wrinkles, about circles under their eyes, or about a spot that just appeared that morning, knowing this gives me some guidance about the retouching that may be necessary in post-production, and I explain what I can and cannot do. It can also help me make appropriate choices with regard to shooting angles and lighting.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall

Frequently, however, a client will confess self-consciousness about a very specific feature of their face. Over the years, I’ve come to realise that this kind of anxiety usually has to do with a perceived lack of facial symmetry. “This is my good side”, people say, as if it was an incontrovertible and obvious fact, although it’s generally impossible to see why and they are rarely able to explain. I recently made portraits of a really beautiful young woman who was convinced that one of her eyes was smaller than the other, and found it hard to believe that I could not guess which one it was.

Few of us – perhaps none of us – have perfectly symmetrical faces. But because we see them in mirrors several times every day they are deeply familiar to us, and in the mirror they look normal. Now when someone sees their face in a photograph, the small asymmetries to which they have become accustomed in the mirror are not simply neutralised, they are reversed. In other words, to the person themselves they seem twice as large as they do to everyone else. I believe this may be the source of many people’s anxieties about their appearance.

I find all human beings fascinating and beautiful. I have always loved looking at people’s faces. As a portrait photographer, it’s my job to reveal each subject’s beauty. But I can do this most easily when they are confident and relaxed. Acknowledging and understanding their anxieties about their appearance, and convincing them that I love the way they look, is the basis of a successful portrait session.